圧迫る

I feel like dying.

I really feel like dying.

I feel I could rid my existence from this world and rot someplace where I won't have to feel as if someone's dumping 5 tonnes of bricks on my back.

I don't know what to do anymore. 

*          *          *

Originally, I had typed something else in this space, but I decided it was too personal, and I don't exactly wanna make them public, so yeah~

Hope you understand.

Today, I woke up reasonably early. About 5:50++ a.m. Got ready, bathed and everything. Thank God my mom decided not to make shake for me today cause besides the fact I would be late by the time she was done, my brother had a stomach ache and had to take a dump.

Managed to get to the library in time, though.

Will have to stay back tomorrow for some World Book Day thing. Which reminds me, *luckily*, I have to find some stuff about my school during the year 2006 and give it to Danya tomorrow. Bleghh~ 

Anyways, after that, we had to go down to the hall and listen to the teacher talk. Was quite emotional today though, cause one of our teachers were leaving due to a promotion somewhere and she couldn't refuse *it's some kind of bad luck if she refuses*

Yeah, I think she was crying when she was giving her speech and hugging teachers whilst receiving presents. She's a nice teacher. She taught my class last year for Seni :)

That aside, after the whole emotional and sentimental stuff, we had to stay a little more in the hall before we made our way to the Bilik Serbaguna for a relief session. Our teachers didn't come today, I guess. During that time, we resumed our talk on the 7 Wonders of the World that Puan S was talking about in the beginning of the year. She never got to finish it so she wanted to end it.

We were late for recess. Had sizzling noodles yet again -_- And we were kinda late, and since Danya is not quite a quick eater, she had some leftovers. She was gonna throw it away, but I immediately disagreed, emptied my egg sandwich into Kanga's tupperware and transferred her noodles into my tupperware.

I wasn't about to let it go to waste :P

After recess, we had PJ. Played with Danya's guitar while the teacher did some SEGAK stuff. Bleghh~ Hate that stuff. It's so annoying -_- 

On the other hand, we didn't have to do anything else :P

Next was one period of Maths, but we reached the library late and on top of that, didn't bring our books because we thought the teacher didn't come. Therefore, we watched Astro in the AV room. I know, it's so "chun" :P

We watched Discovery Channel cause Disney was showing Monster Allergy -_- Haha. It was about this guy who went somewhere to become a Makonde. It's hilarious cause there was this ritual where boys of age had to undergo castration/circumcision and they grabbed the guy as well :P

Luckily he got away with it.

Didn't get to finish it, though, cause 40 minutes only lasts so long. Went back to class after that and had Moral. Continued the next few units and stuff like that. Then rested for the last 20 minutes because she finished the last bidang for that day.

School ended at 1:10 but we had Scouts and some audition for the Suara Emas thing, so we stayed back. Had lunch at the canteen. Finished the sizzling noodles and bought char koay teow. Mwakaka.

By the way, I'm listening to Purple Rain by Shin Hye Sung :P Long time no listen, dude!! :P

The Suara Emas thing... Yeah~ There were people who could sing and people who couldn't sing. There were some who only couldn't sing well because they couldn't pull the high notes. In our case, we weren't brave enough to go near the microphone.

Andyy can finally harmonize, though. Thank the heavens, someone else in the school can actually sing the second voice. Bleghh~

*mutters something under my breath and smiles at the computer*

Anyway, after that, we continued Scouts again. Told the teacher why we were late and then sat down. We were told to wear our full-Scouts' uniform every Wednesday starting from next week -_- Oh, and our group work was to form a group of three and bring a potato, egg and a spoon.

Lord knows what they'll make us do, but hey, I'll wait till next week :P

If Danya'll be in my group, we can ask Chucky to be in our group :)

Am listening to It Was You by Lynn feat. Shin Hye Sung :P

After Scouts ended, we went back home. I was very drained already because of some conflicts within the boundaries of my mind. I felt like World War III was going on in there -_- 

On the way back home, though, we dropped by some Jabatan place to collect my IC. Yes, I received my new IC and I look... weird -_- Like always, what's new? :P The left side of my hair was longer than my right -_-

When I came back, I went to bathe and came down again to eat the ais kacang my aunt bought for all of us. Then, read some of Dina's Thirst book before my mom's student went home and she asked me to practice Impro.

Bleghh~

After I played one exercise, my mom and dad started saying, "No, it's not supposed to be like that. It's supposed to be this, this, this and that, that, that."

Couldn't stand it. Cried.

Know why? Everyone expects something different. My group class teacher told me I could do it one way, my individual teacher another way and my parents some other way. Who the hell am I supposed to listen to? I tell my parents my other teachers told me I could do that but they say no. 

What else can I do? Who do I follow? I can only handle so much.

What with stuff in school also building up and KGT due in about 5 days' time. 

Now you should know why my prologue is so morbid.

As my parents both tried simultaneously to console and teach me the right ways, my tears eventually stopped and I continued to practice. So right now my eyes really hurt like crap -_- The joy, right?

I just stopped practicing and was chatting with Dino and Shuen just now. Was going to do my PEKA cause it's due tomorrow but like everything else that's screwed up, my papers weren't in my bag. Oh, I can feel the bliss.

-_-

This is where I'll stop today. CIAO!!