まだ死

You know how it feels when you hear a close friend *or even a friend* tell you, "Oh, my grand aunt passed away yesterday" or "My distant grandpa passed away" or even "My grand uncle twice removed passed away", it doesn't really hit you as they have lost someone important, does it?

Take me, for example, when a certain someone told me that her/his grandma passed away but she's not really close to him/her, I couldn't really understand it as he/she lost someone dear.

Now I know.

No matter how far apart you are from your relatives, no matter if they've stopped visiting, no matter if they have family members who diss you, they're still family. I couldn't believe it when I heard my grand uncle passed away.

I literally exclaimed "What?!" when my aunt told me about it. Couldn't bring myself to accept the fact that my grand uncle *whom we often dub Amitapha* who had seem so lively and cheerful everytime I saw him, just passed away.

Guess when it happened?

This morning.

It was really shocking. We didn't expect it at all. Not my dad, not my brother, not my aunt, not me.

But what really pisses me off is that no one told us about it. We had to hear about from a third party. Can you believe that? Someone who wasn't related to us got to know about his passing first before we did. Exactly how much more of a jackass can that side of my family get?

He was first admitted to the hospital because of a similar lung condition to my grandpa, but we never even got a whiff about it. Our uncles didn't tell us and neither did our aunts. My dad's cousins kept their effing mouths shut about the whole damn thing and our indirect cousins didn't do shit either.

So why the hell should I go to their house for his funeral? I can respect him from my house, I don't need to step into their filthy abode to do so. You don't know how much I liked my grand uncle. He was so nice, and so funny, so full of life.

And when he died, we didn't even know. They didn't tell us.

Do you know how rejected we feel? As if we didn't belong to the family anymore. As if our connections were much too loose and our relationship too far apart to receive news about his death.

But I'm going to put it aside because my aunt said it was probably not their fault and I can't be rude. But imagine yourself in my shoes. Wouldn't you feel rejected too?

Ciao.

P/S: Yes, che, "Yi Diau" passed away.