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It can only get worse here on out, can it?

Every bloody time we see her, she's at least 5% more miserable than the last time we saw her. I can't imagine the pain she's going through even at this moment. I'm left wondering at night if she's awake, anticipating the pain that's gonna hit when she leasts expects it.

But that's the thing, isn't it?

It's always there.

24/7.

And just as she settles down, the pain kicks in again.

I was visiting her just yesterday, and I didn't realize until then, how much a person could hate his/her "Creator" so much.

Hell, I'm bloody pissed.

My sister told me there's no point in hating the One Up There, but a person can only stand so much, right? All I wanted was for her to get better.

I even prayed.

Is that not enough?

You want me to be a full-fledged Christian before You help me? Help her??

We relied on You. She keeps crying out for You whenever her body hurts. Crying for help. My aunt relies on You too, probably more than the patient herself. She's not about to let the disease take her beloved away.

And it's not like she's the only one that's hurting. My mom cries so often now. My sister's cried twice for her. I've teared - I usually prefer against crying in public (it'll be way too humiliating for me) - and thanks to her needing assistance at all times, my mom (who goes up to see her almost every day now), aunt (who's there literally every day) and at the moment, my sister, is always so friggin' tired after visiting her.

She needs that much help.

Even if the disease doesn't ALL go away, at least allow her control over her own body? Her bowels? Her limbs? Her dignity?

What happened to "ask and you shall receive"?