Mukatsuku

So bloody angry. Nobody bothers to tell me anything but I'm somehow involved in it. You ask me questions, make me curious and then leave me there to gawk about what the hell might've happened?

This is why I try not to involve myself at all. You're all people who do that to people. You say "You might use it to threaten me next time" but do you even know why the hell I do that? You don't know what the fish I'm trying to hide or what I feel, so why don't you just keep your trap shut if that's all you intend to tell me.

I'm annoying, yes. I'm nosy, yes. I'm unsophisticated, hell yeah. But what's it to you? Just because I play one minor role in it, I don't deserve to know the truth? I want to yell it out to you, to feel satisfied with your stupid look after I'm done crapping about what I feel, but I just can't. 

This new feeling, I decided then, can be used in my book. It's the first time I felt like just blowing a fuse and shouting at people. But what would you care? Why would you care? You only intend to use me as somekind of stupid tool so you don't get scolded by our Theory teacher. You can just look at me and say "Eh, check for me" and then push me aside when there are personal things.

And it's not like you need time or anything. You just don't want me to know. I'm tired of playing your stupid game. I'm tired of helping you. I'm tired of getting you out of trouble just because I'm nice! 

I stand by the corner and sulk, but I look back at what are you doing?

... 

Playing basketball.

I give up.

* * *

Jasrel's leaving our tuition soon. So it'll be just me, Jen-itor and Sean after this week. Apparently she's going somewhere but I don't know the details. Vienne was being high and mighty again with her being "awesome". I didn't get to laugh that much or tembak people that much because my shoulder was aching. 

Didn't I tell you? If I cough, sniff too hard or laugh, my shoulder starts aching and it feels so painful. But hey, the only thing I can do is wait for it to heal. ^ ^

My brother's probably busy sms-ing Sean now to check on what's happened during class. I found out quite a number of things too, only that's all I knew because everyone was being so secretive.

I guess I am an unreliable person, no? I talk about how friends should be treasured and how they should be remembered, but how does it feel like to be cut out from everything? Sometimes, I don't even wanna know. Don't even wanna play the stupid role. 

Because all that'll ever come out from that jerk's mouth is "You'd probably threaten me with it later." Think, you stupid ass, why do you think I do that?

Make sure you don't even let me in anything next time, okay? 

Eeesh. Gonna continue watching Zero No Tsukaima on animeseason.com now. Haha, new anime, new anime site. Mwakakaka. ^ ^

Will ciao now. Ciao!