Jokes jokes and more JOKES!!!

~A world without humor is like food without flavouring, sight without scenery, lyrics without music and jungle without animals. Thankfully, a world like this doesn't exist~

~Some laugh at a joke because everyone else is laughing, others to be polite even though they don't understand it, yet others on their beds when they finally get it. Who cares why you laugh - as long as you do because laughter is the best medicine~

-George Ong.

*Enjoy*

A little bird was flying south for the winter. The weather was so cold; the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay in a pile of cow dung, it began to feel the warmth. The dung was actually thawing him out. He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate it!

Lessons of life:
-Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy
-Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
-If you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.



The CEO and Chairman of one of the big banks opened his directors' meeting by announcing, "All those who are opposed to my plan will reply by saying 'I resign'"



A managing director said to his staff, "Ladies and gentlemen, let me frankly tell you that the greatest problem of our company is procrastination. But let's talk about this tomorrow."
-Procrastination means delay. ^ ^



A manager worked day and night because he had a demanding boss. When he got home, a fairy appeared. It said, 'Any wish you make tonight will come true, but remember that whatever you ask, your boss will get twice as much.'
'That's interesting,' the guy admitted. 'I'm half dead tonight and I'd like it that way.'


During the summer, employees learn how to deal with stress while their managers are attending seminars to learn how to create it.

Comical Ads and Misprints in the Following Advertisements:-

-Wanted: Experienced clerk, peasant (pleasant) working conditions.

-FOR SALE: Pedigree dog. Will eat anything. Loves children.

-Administrative assistant required: No objections to sex.

-KFC slogan “finger-lickin good” came across in Chinese as “Eat your fingers off.”

-USED CARS: Why do elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.

-Lost husband and dog. Reward for dog.

-Pepsi’s “Come alive with the Pepsi generation” was translated to Chinese as “Pepsi beings your ancestors back from the grave.”




Stay tuned for more!!!