もう知らない

What else do you want to take away from me?

Is it not enough that I can't eat what I want?

Now I'm not allowed to MAKE what I want either?

Exactly to what extent will you be satisfied that you're torturing me?

I want so much to bake. I want to be able to feel excited to see the dough rise and to feel happy that finally, I'll be able to do something I've never been able to do before. You already said no to a small bloody oven. Now that I don't even have to mess up our kitchen, you still won't allow me to go?

Exactly what do you want?

Don't bullshit me and say that it doesn't make sense for me to go when it is already so late. You say that some people might want to make dinner and stuff but if they needed the kitchen at that time, they wouldn't have allowed me to go.

And don't spout crap and tell me that I shouldn't start doing anything when I have zero knowledge about it. What the hell do we learn in this world that doesn't start from zero? We learn from zero to play the piano. We learn from zero to play the guitar. We learn from zero to count the numbers.

What more do you want?

You want me to go out and buy the stuff? Don't mess with me. You know bloody well that it'll cost much more than actually making the stuff. I've got such good friends who actually let me come over to their houses to bake cupcakes and brownies but you just won't let me.

And is it wrong to try doing what I like? Even if it's not for our carnival, is it so bad and improper for me to just want to try baking for once in my miserable life?

Do you like it when I start to hate you like this? Do you like it when I have to resort to ranting about this in my blog just so I don't feel like strangling you when you walk through the front door?

You're taking everything away from me now, aren't you? My food, my iPad, my privacy. Now you want my interests too?

For God's sake, find the benevolence in you to let me LIVE.