"Natsukashiku mada touku, sorewa mirai no yakusoku"

Itsuka midori no asa ni
Itsuka tadori mitsukeru to
Fuyu gareta sono sora wo
Shinjiteiru kana...

Fields of hope...

I hated today of all days. I don't care for the fact I got 91% for my Maths exam. What makes you think I'll be happy? The fact that all my friends hate me? Hah, pathetic.

Let me just tell you one thing:

Everyone wants good results.

Everyone wants the highest.

Everyone wants to pass.

So don't think that just because you didn't, you can blame it on me. It's not like I asked to get 91%, right? Just staring at you as your tears run down your cheeks is torture enough. Even Kangaroo didn't cry, so what right have you to?

And you've gotten worse results before. 62% should've been nothing. I'm not trying to pick a fight, neither am I trying to belittle you. You can't blame the entire thing on yourself anyway, since you've been absent for the volleyball tournaments and the teacher sucks ass.

However, you can't blame it on someone else. You can't let out your anger on people who're trying to help. Whether or not you're angry, you could've just said "Leave me alone for a while please." You didn't have to say shut up.

Do you even realize how painful it felt? Especially the fact that you called me a "whore" out on the corridor. Do you think I wanted to get 91? Or that I asked the teacher to give you a "C"? What the hell's your problem? You have a temper on whoever gets higher marks than you? I mean, I do it to Kangaroo too, but as a joke. The glare you gave me in class was the worst thing you could've done to a friend.

Unless I'm not one.

Imagine if you were in my shoes and I called you a whore and asked you to shut up. How would you feel? Can you still swear like some happy-go-lucky girl and laugh? Can you bear the burden of being called those things by your own friend? Just because they got lower marks than you?

If that's the kind of person you are, than maybe I'm supposed to feel glad you decided to cut this friendship.

And the fact that my Fundamentals are coming isn't making things any better. The only reason I can type this post is because my mom won't let me use the iMac at home and I'm forced to come out to my dad's office and do it whilst faxing my sister's shit to someone. I can't even tell her I want to relax for a while because she doesn't give a hell's crap about how hard I've been working. She keeps saying "You didn't study well enough" and "You where got study? Don't give me that bull!"

She doesn't even give a damn about the fact that I got 91% for Maths. Do you know what she said when I gave her that news, Chucky? You listen to this response before thinking your marks are bad.

"Where did the rest of the nine marks go?"

Do you know how I felt when I had those words spoken to me? Do you know the way my heart twisted and turned because my mom doesn't think I worked at all to achieve these marks? Even my dad said he'd buy me icecream. What about my mom?

Tch. She wants every single subject of mine to be over 90. Not even taking to consideration that my brother fails almost all his subjects and still gets away with it. Can my sister still quote "Lou gets away with murder"?

I don't think so.

I finally know what Kangaroo goes through when I do the same to her. And for that, Kangaroo, I apologize. I congratulate you for getting 80 for Geo and I won't ever treat you the same way I did when you told me you got first place in class again.

So all of you bozos out there who think getting lower marks than someone gives you a reason to hate them, why don't you try being in someone's shoes for once and take the blows, trying your best to keep standing.

Then you tell me to shut up.