Just The Way You Are - Cimorelli *Bruno Mars*

Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shinin'
Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her tryin'
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

Yeah, I know, I know when I compliment her, she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay?
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are

And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
'Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

Oh, you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for, then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking if you look okay
You know I'll say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are

And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
'Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are

And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
'Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are, yeah

沢山の仕事~

As I'm typing this, it's already 5:40++a.m. My work is sprawled all over the coffee table. I even have the black spray from earlier this evening on the table. The maid had packed my pencil box and everything before going to bed, but I ended up having to take 'em all out to use again.

I stayed up literally all night to finish up my homework yet again.

Nowadays I feel as if I don't even have time to sleep. All my homework has to be done. Delay 'em by just a few hours to a day, I'm toast. Not that they give mountains and skyscrapers of homework, but you've gotta take to account that almost all my days are jam packed with tuitions. I don't think there is a single day except for Sundays when I'm actually free. Even my music class has been called off for a while just so I can attend Physics & Chemistry class without returning home from music class looking like a zombie.

Well, for now maybe even my Tuesdays are free, but then again, by the time I come back home by four thirty, it's hardly enough time to really finish all my homework.

The earliest time I've probably ever slept since school started was 10:30, if I'm super duper lucky. Other days? Not so much. I'm sleeping at around eleven and twelve - or in cases like these,not at all.

The life, right?

I try not to tell my parents. It's nothing to boast about. The only person who would ever notice I've been up all night is my aunt and that's because she always hears me when I enter or leave the room, which makes it impossible for her not to know if I haven't gone into the room the whole night.

Of course I keep tabs on what time it is. I don't go anywhere without my iPad nowadays but that's only so I don't lose track of time. And even when I realize that it's pass a certain time and I still have a certain amount of homework to do, I normally prepare myself for the long day ahead before I can finally rest my head against the pillow and shut my eyes for a nice long rest.

Even my Saturdays aren't allowed to be sleep-in days. My mom makes me wake up at around seven or eight in the morning so I can go to Yobo's. Seriously, I love that place, but not when it robs me of my sleep.

To top it all off, if it's not my mom who poaches on my Saturdays, it's my school. Guess who's got school this coming Saturday. Yours truly, yeah.

The highlight of this week will probably the party I'm attending on Saturday at six o'clock. It's a friend's barbecue sweet sixteen party. Which reminds, I have no idea what to give her for her birthday present.

Bleghh~

I stayed up today to finish reading 12 chapters of my BM novel that I don't even like just so I can write the friggin' synopsis for it. Not only that, I had to print and arrange my Physics file so I can hand it in to Kanga today.

5:56a.m.

My head is spinning but I can't skip school. Gotta hand in the stupid Big Book that I'm in charge of or they'll start rattling on and on and on about how irresponsible I am.

I finally got it done today big thanks to ESyn and TingTing because they came to my house. Thanks for the rest who helped me on Tuesday and Wednesday. It's alright that you couldn't come on the 20th, I know it ain't your fault. In the first place, I should've confirmed everything with the librarian teachers before just going ahead and doing something different.

Hey, I didn't exactly want it to be boring now, did I?

Nothing more I can do about that. Just hoping I'll have lesser nights like these when I don't even call it a night.

Six o'clock.

Gotta go now, that means. Have to wake my parents up. Don't wanna be late for hell now, do I?

Ciao.

The Member of Parliament

Taken from BEDLAM :) Enjoy~

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A farmer named Bill was overseeing his herd in a remote, mountainous pasture in Scotland when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bill looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone and surfs to a NASA page, on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and after a few minutes receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bill.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car.

Then Bill says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Member of Parliament for the British Government", says Bill.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required" answered the farmer. "You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living, or about cows, for that matter. This is a flock of sheep...Now give me back my dog".

The Shipwrecked Welshman

Taken from BEDLAM :) Enjoy~

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A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.

Looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Welshman, soon he leaned over to the sheep and ..... put his arm around it.

But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep..

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was an other shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health.

When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual, it was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the Welshman started to get 'those feelings' again, he fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and realising he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman cautiously and whispered in her ear, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'

The Wife From Hell

Taken from BEDLAM :) Enjoy~

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A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, 'I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' 

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. ' 

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says:'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.' 

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?' 

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radardetector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.' 

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?' 

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.' 

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.' 

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.' 

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?' 

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?' 

'Only when he's been drinking!!'

Drink Driving

Taken from BEDLAM :) Enjoy~

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Please, take care of yourself. A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and

the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.

This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who drink bottled water, starbucks, soda, juice, energy drinks, and shit like that.

Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.

Catholic Horses

Taken from BEDLAM :) Enjoy~

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One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.

Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race.

Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch watched with interest the old priest step onto the track.. Sure enough, as the 5th race horses came to the starting gate the priest made a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses.

Mitch made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.


Mitch collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest would bless for the 6th race. The priest again blessed a horse.

Mitch bet big on it, and it won.

Mitch was elated. As the races continued the priest kept blessing long shot horses, and each one ended up coming in first.

By and by, Mitch was pulling in some serious money. By the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was the longest shot of the day. Mitch also observed the priest blessing the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.

Mitch knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag. He then watched dumbfounded as the old nag come in dead last. Mitch, in a state of shock, made his way down to the track area where the priest was.

Confronting the old priest he demanded, 'Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed lost by a Kentucky mile. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings - all of it!' 

The priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. 'Son,' he said, 'That's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and last rites.'

The Husband Store

Taken from BEDLAM :) Enjoy~

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A store that sells new Husbands has opened in Sydney, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!

1. There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
2. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'So she continues upward.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going...

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' 

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak...

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor... There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wife Store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex... The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

The Vicar's Salary

Taken from BEDLAM :) Enjoy~


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At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular. 

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Southland and Otago, stands up and proclaims:'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Holden every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!' 

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds. 

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, ‘If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!' 

More sighs and loud applause.

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex..' 

There is total silence. 

The Preacher, blushing, asks her: 'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?' 

Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: 
'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F**k him'.

Yellow 24

This was taken from BEDLAM :) Credits to him :)

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A man goes into the doctors feeling a little ill. The doctor checks him over and says, 'Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus. It's called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live.There's no known cure so just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth.'

So he trudges home to his wife and breaks the news. Distraught, she asks him to go to the bingo with her that evening as he's never been there with her before. They arrive at the bingo and with his first card he gets four corners and wins £35. Then, with the same card, he gets a line and wins £320. Then he gets the full house and wins £1000. Then the National Game comes up and he wins that too getting £380,000. 

The bingo caller gets him up on stage and says, 'Son, I've been here 20 years and I've never seen anyone win four corners, a line, the full-house and the national game on the same card. You must be the luckiest man on Earth!'

'Lucky?' he screamed. 'Lucky? I'll have you know I've got Yellow 24 .'

"Bugger me" says the bingo caller. ''You've won the raffle as well!”